2002, $2.99, at Goodwill Superstore on San Fernando

First Impression: Get in a spooky Halloween mood with candlelight yoga!

Second Impression: Featuring candelabras from a 1998 Pottery Barn clearance sale!

Halloween is almost here and I am so ready to surround myself with everything dark and scary! So… what’s more terrifying than a yoga video that features burning candles near some billowing, flammable drapes?

An arpeggio harp underscores the Marisa Tomei of yoga, Sara Ivanhoe, as she welcomes us to the coven:

They would all like to live deliciously. Indeed, “There is more to health than being thin,” Sara declares. Nodding, I think about the bag of Kit Kat Dark that’s waiting in the cupboard.

Sara directs us to start in a cross-legged seat, breathing with “a Darth Vader sound.” Speaking of science fiction:

OMG, it’s Starbuck!  So say we all!

It becomes clear that this is the gentle, easy, nerve-calming yoga video that I’ve been searching for my whole life. “Keep your eyes closed,” intones Sara. “There’s nothing to see on the TV screen.”

Nothing, except for this fire hazard…

Now I suddenly feel tense again. Good thing we’re learning the Ostrich Head-in-the-Sand  stretch:

I think I will practice this whenever I feel overwhelmed by world events. So… daily?

A sitting side bend is the perfect time to ponder what to dress up as for Halloween:

I think she might go as 80’s Madonna.

Next, we learn to harness the lightning. By the Power of Grayskull!

And who doesn’t love a Forward Bend, or as it is known in October, Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet:

Sara lets us know that yoga is really all about “learning to relax at will so you can put your energy wherever you want it.” Sounds like witchcraft to me.

The main routine is followed by a short Yoga Energizer segment. We start with a shoulder stretch that mimics holding a spectral hand:

Next is Levitation for Beginners…

 …and I am all set to terrify some Trick-or-Treaters next week!

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