Monthly Archives: April 2015



2003, $2.99, at Goodwill on Brand, Glendale

First Impression: Carmen Electra looks about 17 on the front cover.

Second Impression:


My breasts will be so lean and toned!

A long time ago, I worked as an On-Set Dresser on a romantic comedy that starred Carmen Electra. The conceit was that it was a nature documentary about the mating habits of humans, as perceived by aliens from space. Lucy Liu played her sassy best friend. The movie was terrible, and everyone knew it except for the director. Carmen was really sweet and nice to the crew, and during downtime she would park herself on the floor with us and tell stories about meeting Prince.

It turns out there are neither stripping nor strip tutorials in this video. Mr. Smytherin will be very disappointed. As Carmen explains in the intro, Disc 2 has toning and conditioning exercises so you will look good when you take your clothes off. I also find candlelight helps.

Carmen, wearing girlish ponytails that make her quirky and relatable, is accompanied by “celebrity fitness trainer Michael Carson.” He’s like a super buffed Mark Hamill, and turns out to be very good at explaining the exercises. I have to say, this was actually a really good overall exercise program, with a mix of stretching, cardio, Pilates, and ab work. My ribs hurt a lot the next day.

This exercise video also has what all exercise videos should have: a countdown clock in the corner! Yes! I’m a relentless clock-watcher when I exercise and it’s so refreshing to have a fitness DVD acknowledge that most people just want to get it over with.

I have to say I have mixed feelings about encouraging women to emulate sex industry workers in their exercise program. Although I have friends who’ve taken pole dancing classes, and they say it’s about doing it for yourself and not about pleasing some man. Okay, if they say so. If I come across a DVD titled “In The Barrel: Glory Hole Your Way To Fitness” I might be a little concerned about where our society is heading. But I’ll have to review it.