Monthly Archives: May 2017

I WANT THAT BODY! WITH TAMILEE

2001, $2.99, at Goodwill on Colorado in Eagle Rock

First Impression: You too can have a bathing suit that looks like mismatched underwear!

Second Impression: And pose like you’re in an 80’s teen sex comedy!

This DVD is hosted by Tamilee Webb, who you might remember from the famous workout series she pronounces, “Buns of Still.” I have been looking for those titles at the thrift store, but I haven’t come across any yet. Hopefully one day, they will cross my path.  Who doesn’t want their buns to be the consistency of iron smelted together with carbon?  Or molybdenum?  Sometimes manganese. The United Steelworkers of America know what I’m talkin’ about, right, guys? (crickets)

Aaaaanyway, the routines in this DVD are the result of groundbreaking scientific research into the science of fitness. We know this because of the intro segment, with Tamilee in a room that looks all science-y, looking at a bar graph on a computer with an older man in a lab coat. Science!

Tamilee nods at a lady holding a clipboard. Then we see Tamilee doing some bicycle crunches with electrodes attached to her skin, like an animal! Finally, she demonstrates the scientific power of squats as the lady holds a device to measure the level of muscle contraction achieved. Some wires extend out of the device and snake… up Tamilee’s shorts? Wait, what are those wires attached to? I feel like Steve Martin in Trains, Planes, and Automobiles when he exclaims, “Those aren’t pillows!”

I must say, all of this scientifical research paid off, because I really like working out to this video. There are two 15-minute workouts each for Abs, Arms, and Buns. I combine one of each to make two whole 45 minute workouts.  Why, that’s math for you. Science!

Tamilee is a great fitness coach, knowledgable and encouraging without having to rely on shouting or the posturing attitude that seems to be the trend nowadays. And her routines are indeed very effective. Science!

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