Monthly Archives: April 2019


2006, $2.99, at Goodwill Superstore on San Fernando

First Impression: Yay!

Second Impression: I reiterate, yay.

Faithful Readers, you will remember from last week that I had a foot injury which made it necessary to lay off exercise for a little while, because wearing shoes was too painful. Basically, my big toe was filled with as much goo as a Cadbury egg:

Happy Easter, by the way!

Anywhoo, last week’s review was helpfully guest written by a green-haired 11-year-old who loves a king-sized Reese’s peanut butter cup. But you can’t depend on pre-teens forever, so this week I opted for a routine where I did not have to wear shoes. Luckily, Bollywood style dance is not only “exuberant, erotic, and expressive,” it’s best done barefoot.

The instructor, Hemalayaa, is beautiful enough to be a Bollywood film star herself. She leads us through this hour long dance routine set in the foyer of a restaurant/theatre/garden center:

Hemalayaa tells us we’re learning Bhangra moves, which are specifically from Northern India. Soon the intoxicating music kicks up and we are carried away to a land of Bollywood delights!

The warmup includes saying “ahh, ooh” while making a really exaggerated face:

We practice the ubiquitous shoulder bounce that ties all the moves together. Next, we are instructed to look from side to side with our hands over our eyes, in a theatrical searching gesture. “HelllllOOOOOO-ooooo!” prompts Hemalayaa.

Some of my favorite moves are inspired by the natural world. There’s a foot wipe that evokes a cat scraping in his litter box, and a “feed the chickens” move that looks like you’re scattering feed in the yard.

It’s all fun and silly until we get to “ground play,” which involves a bouncing plié all the way down to your heels “only if your body tells you.” Well, mine is telling me “nope,” so I just do a tasteful, appropriate mini bounce instead.

We get to the cool down which features some Bollywood baby-making music and slow motion hip swivels, and lots of this stretch:

In the end, Hemalayaa praises us with “Good work! Or should I say play?”