Tag Archives: dance

10 MINUTE SOLUTION: FAT BLASTING DANCE MIX

2006, $2.99, at Disabled Veterans Charities

First Impression: The Flashdance top makes it a workout.

Second Impression: The “ho hoops” make it a party!

If I have learned anything from this DVD, it is that the most appropriate attire for any dance party occasion would be a pair of cargo pants. Baggy canvas drawstring trousers with ample pockets are the best way to clothe yourself if you want to get down, party it up, and whittle that waist!  There is no other alternative!

As always, I recommend powering through the five, 10 minute segments all at once to maximize your fat blasting! This DVD is hosted by Jennifer Galardi, who tolerated Kim Kardashian throughout the Fit In Your Jeans By Friday: Amazing Abs Body Sculpt workout.  Which, I will reiterate, I found in the 99 Cents Store, in the same aisle where they sell roach poison.

As the star of her own video, Jennifer makes a fun yet bland host, which means that you won’t get tired of her on repeated viewings. Maybe it’s because her eyes turn town naturally at the corners, but the camera occasionally catches her with a sad, worried look in her close-ups.  I wonder if she’s trying to count steps or remember choreography.

Hey, no judgement, Jennifer.  I recall the day I was at work and thinking about my elderly, beloved, dying pet, and the realization was washing over me that the kindest thing to do would be to put him to sleep, and that it should probably happen the very next day.  And a co-worker looked at my face right then, and said something horribly rude and mean about the way my face looked, and I wasn’t sure if I should burst into tears or punch him in the face, so instead I walked away, and then he called me some more rude names for ignoring him.

So you can have whatever look you want on your face, Jennifer.  If you’re thinking about the steps it’s because you want to make this Fast Blasting Dance Party the fat blastiest party that ever blasted fat!