Category Archives: Reviews

JILLIAN MICHAELS: EXTREME SHED & SHRED

2011, $2.99, at Goodwill Superstore on San Fernando

First Impression: Jillian’s back with an extreme new font!

Second Impression: It’s so extreme, a monster has begun to eat the letters:

Remember that band Extreme from the 90’s? Remember how they released that acoustic love song, More than Words, and everyone assumed all their music was romantic adult contemporary, and boy was everyone in for a big funk-metal surprise.

In this case, the soft pink wash behind Jillian is the equivalent of a beautifully harmonized song to lull you into complacency. It leaves you fully unprepared for how insanely effective these two 45-minute workouts will be. Their efficacy is insane, I tell you. The workouts themselves have become sentient, and then, have lost grip on the very fabric of reality.

The DVD cover does warn you.  Not only does the workout promise to shed & shred, it also purports to strip & rip. It all sounds so violent. Perhaps some of you just wish to focus on lowering your cholesterol so your doctor won’t make that “tsk” noise at your annual checkup. Some of you need to get your head in the game!  This is extreme!

Why am I yelling? It’s hard not to yell when you’re under the influence of Jillian. She has one of those voices that always sounds like she’s angry.  She often quips, “let me just help you out” to one of her assistants, and presses down on them to make the difficult exercise even harder. Should they be talking to OSHA? You could get hurt if someone pushes you the wrong way while you are doing these moves.

It soon becomes clear that I do not make the cut when it comes to extremeness. (Extremity?) I try both workouts, but I definitely prefer the first.  The second workout features The Wrist-Snapper, a move where you twist from hands-and-knees, tucking your hand under one shoulder and flipping yourself over into reverse tabletop.  If you’re looking to grind down all the cartilage in your wrist in just 45 minutes a day, this workout just might be extreme enough for you!