2009, free from Robyn S.

First Impression: I have my annual physical today, so this will make a difference, right?

Second Impression: Can the lab tell if you’ve had too many doughnuts at work?  Asking for a friend.

Leandro Carvalho, whose picture appears in the Urban Dictionary’s definition of “Extra,”  is back with two different workouts. We begin with the violently titled Cardio Axe. Leandro pronounces it “Ashay” which means “good luck and positivity.”

We start with the Brazilian March. This is how they do a military parade in Brazil:

Leandro commands, “Don’t save anything for later. Give it all now!” Then, we learn the Lambada.

“The Forbidden Dance!?” I shriek, clutching my pearls. Why yes, and it is not anything like I imagined. Like all secret knowledge, it is ultimately a disappointment.

This is Mary, and the instructor insists to know how she is doing. Of course she is contractually obligated to say “Awesome!”  You know what though? I’ll bet it’s the truth. This workout is a party that can’t stop, won’t stop. Can I get a witness, Leandro?

“We are praising the lords of Brazil for your beautiful butt!” he asserts.

Now for the Tummy Tuck segment, performed without anesthetic:

Leandro teaches us the Brazilian Bikini Combo. Don’t worry, it contains no onscreen depictions of depilation. Instead, there’s a bent leg/straight leg sit-up combo with some arm waving:

I can feel it working already. Abrigado!

Next is a sort of one-armed elbow bridge. I was ready to Nope out of that one, but I tried it, and it wasn’t as difficult as I thought:

I definitely plan to keep this DVD and work it into my cardio rotation, although – truth time – with the sound off so I can listen to podcasts.

In the least subtle editing transition ever, the workout is immediately followed by a loud, enthusiastic commercial for “Shakeology.” What a bummer. I was having such a good time, Leandro.

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