2009, $2.99, at Goodwill Superstore on San Fernando
First Impression: Hip Hop Instructor Barbie comes with everything you see here.
Second Impression: Step-Up Skipper and Krumpin’ Ken sold separately.
Thank goodness! Here are five, 10-minute Hip Hop routines to “heat up the room” and “slim your body with serious style.”
Naturally, we begin with Hip Hop Basics. Our host is the perky Kristin Jacobs, an overgrown cheerleader with PINK stamped on her butt:
Turns out, those fab abs on the cover are absolutely not photoshopped. She’s got the rock-solid gristle that can only be achieved with constant exercise and a Carb Deficit, which is a thing I just made up, but you know by next week there will be clickbait articles telling you all about it.
We start with a bouncy walk with an elbow move into a hip swing, called the Dig Deep. OK, this is really fun! I’m onboard with Team Jacobs.
At the end of the 10 minute routine, she tells us, “You did an excellent job with Hip Hop Basics, and I’ll see you next time.” I half expect her to say, “I’ll see you in Hell,” but we can’t have everything we want in life, can we?
Moving on to Fat Burning Funk! What’s more funky than baggy capri cargos with half a bathing suit?
We do a move called Pump It, and Thumbs! I now dance as well as Elaine on Seinfeld.
We do The Smooth into The Fresh. “Take a smooth move back,” directs Kristin Jacobs. I can’t help but think of Ex-Lax. But still, this DVD is growing on me.
Time for Edgy Grooves. She wears a sweatband on only one wrist, so you know we are down to business!
We do a Swizzle Step so I’m basically an ice dancer now.
Body Re-Mix feels comfortable and familiar, and I realize I’ve learned some of this choreography before. Turns out, the choreographer of this video was the host of another routine I reviewed here. The world of discount Hip Hop exercise routines is so small!
Are you ready for Cardio Street Heat? Because Kristin has put on her big girl pants for this final ten minutes in heaven:
No need to bring it on, because it’s already been broughten!