2012, $2.99, at Goodwill on Colorado in Eagle Rock

First Impression: Sometimes I pretend I’m a figure skater!

Second Impression: Triple Lutz! Whee!

I first attempted this video a year ago and became so irritated that after five minutes, I stopped it and did something else that probably involved Netflix and white cheddar popcorn. It’s been at the bottom of the to-be-reviewed stack ever since.

So I decide to give it another try. To be fair, this DVD is a pose library, not a workout. Tara Stiles introduces each pose in her “coolest yoga instructor ever” vocal fry, punctuated with a smug little head bobble. She demonstrates each pose, but only on one side of the body. So if you are a new student following along, you never get to practice what the pose feels like on the other side. Totally lame! Let’s have some symmetry, Tara!

Honestly, I fast-forwarded through most of this, because I wanted to get to the Bonus Routine. Meanwhile, Tara escapes from her yoga prison:

… to the wilds of Joshua Tree:  

What a great place to die of exposure!

What is it with filming exercise videos on a mountaintop? I would link to all the routines I’ve ever reviewed that were shot on location on mesas, peaks, summits, crests, and buttes, but there are more than I can count! And what is the appeal of elevated wilderness fitness anyway? If you’ve ever been hiking, you would agree that if anyone tried to lead an aerobics combination when you got to the top, you’d just push them off the mountain.

Also, the very first asana in the Bonus Routine is Triangle Pose. Why do you hate me, Tara Stiles? Triangle Pose is not a first-pose pose! That’s a pose you do after you’ve warmed up a little bit, with other, more gentle poses! Maybe that’s why the back of the DVD calls her a “Yoga Rebel.”

I must be craving carbs, because now the perilous rocks start to look like fluffy, delicious biscuits:

As the routine mercifully ends, the credits roll over a watercolor cityscape, taking us back to civilization:


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