2005, $1.99, at Goodwill on Colorado, Eagle Rock

First Impression: Workouts so rocking, we left off the superfluous G.

Second Impression: Improv Everywhere infiltrates an aerobics class, with mixed results.

I snapped up this DVD with five workouts for the low, low price of $1.99. For those following at home, it’s 39.8 cents per session. I must say, I am rather proud of my penny-pinching ways.  I can’t believe I used to actually pay a gym membership every month. Besides the monthly fee, I also avoid parking, obnoxious instructors, people, and other’s people’s B.O. Basically, the biggest problem with going to the gym is that there are other people there.

But in the privacy of my own home I can work out in blissful solitude. I still have to deal with the obnoxious instructor of this video, however. Long time readers might notice that the jewel box cover looks very familiar.  That’s because it’s very nearly the same photo used for Turbo Jam: Cardio Party:

Look at these high-kicking funsters! As I wrote in my review of Cardio Party, the instructor’s personality is a bit… much.  (Wouldn’t you know it, Cardio Party happens to be one of the five included, and I didn’t feel compelled to revisit it.) But she does present a more toned-down persona on the slower-paced routines. Turbo Sculpt, which is far more easygoing than its name implies, is my favorite workout on this DVD.  The music is calmer, the host is more relaxed, and it’s all about doing some lunges with weights. You work out all your major muscle groups, and everyone’s a winner.

Inevitably, though, the host encourages us to “shake it” while doing bicep curls and squats, an efficient way to throw your sacroiliac joint out of whack. Her assistants obediently wiggle around and mug for the camera like toddlers at a pageant. I’m sure when the cameras stop rolling, everyone drops their weights, cries out in pain, hobbles offstage and fights over the Tiger Balm. Oh, such fun we have here at Turbo Jam.

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