2005, $1.99 (in the original shrink wrapper!) at Goodwill Superstore on San Fernando

First Impression: You know at the end of “The Raiders of the Lost Ark” when the guy looks at the ark being opened, and his face melts?

Second Impression: Shut your eyes, Marion! Don’t look at it!

Kirby the Clown, hiding in an indoor play space, is discovered by Karate Bob. He refers to her as “kid” even though she’s a head taller than him. Kirby is clad in the colorful layered shirts that a comedic actor would wear to his first headshot session. Kirby, wild-eyed, clearly states her intention to hide and spy on the Kick Time Kids. Karate Bob can sense her manic state, and speaks with her in a calm voice so as not to agitate her further.

Karate Bob leads the Kick Time kids in a stretch warmup, then demonstrates some punches, blocks, and kicks. A kid in the back row yawns. Karate Bob periodically checks back on Kirby to make sure she is not doing anything that might violate her parole.

He asks the Kick Time Kids if they are having fun, and they shout, “Yes, Sir!” the same way a different group of kids once yelled, “Hey! Teacher! Leave them kids alone!”

He offers up some high-fives, but he cuts it off after just two. A kid in the second row misses out and looks completely crushed.

Karate Bob reminds the kids that karate is not to be practiced on one’s younger siblings or school chums. In fact, you should only practice karate when a teacher or parent says it’s okay. Karate is not about showing off. Karate is about kicking with your heel first, while keeping your toes bent.

Karate Bob emphasizes these key points to Kirby as well. She fervently expresses a wish to be a Kick Time Kid too! Since she’s been on her best behavior, Karate Bob relents, and Kirby makes her triumphant appearance in her very own white karate jammies, to cheers and applause of all the children. Perhaps Kirby the Clown was just misunderstood, after all.



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