YOGA FOR SURFERS II: FLUID POWER YOGA

2002, $3.99, at Goodwill Bookstore in Pasadena

First Impression: The wave was *this* high!

Second Impression: Pix or it didn’t happen!

We begin with a montage of happy surfers, surfing happily. The voice-over tells us how much surfers love to surf. But then things take a dark turn. “Sometimes conditions are not favorable, and we’re not able to surf,” the voice intones, as it shows a despondent couple staring longingly at the waves, slowly shaking their heads. I so want them to go full infomercial and look at the camera with a “There’s got to be another way!”

Every time I do this workout, I think they are about to say those magical words, and then they don’t. It’s like every time I watch West Side Story. I think, Tony’s going to stop the fight! He really can do it, if he just says the right thing! But Tony is caught up by forces much more powerful than himself, just as the surfers in this yoga video must succumb to the will of Nature herself. Wow, that’s powerful.

This is another “Yoga for (insert thing here)” DVD that is really just ordinary yoga with an overlay to make the whole thing more appealing to a specific group of people. The surfers that I happen to know sure do like to talk about surfing.  None of them ever mentions yoga, not even as a substitute for the thing they get so obsessive over that their conversation clears a room.

This video possesses the power to magically transport us to another time and place. We begin with the host, alone, in a plain white room. There are windows, but you can’t quite see out of them. Clearly, this room is meant to represent the afterlife. Then, throughout the yoga session, we cut to a shirtless young man frolicking in the lush green outdoors.

The youth is turned away from camera as he demonstrates the reverse angle of the poses. We never see his face. That’s because looking into his eyes would turn you to stone and you would remain there, forever frozen in his verdant lair.  For we are but playthings for the gods to trifle with, are we not? This is the mystery and the power of Yoga For Surfers II.

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