TRUDIE STYLER’S CARDIO DANCE FLOW

TrudieStylersCardioDanceFlow

2010, $1.75, at Out of the Closet Superstore in Glassell Park

First Impression: Mrs. Sting sure can stretch!

Second Impression: Sting is making sure you know who his wife is, because there’s a quarter-inch high picture of him on the cover.

In her behind-the-scenes interview, Trudie Styler says “when Gaiam approached me about making fitness videos…” meaning, it was their idea, not hers. So, the Director of Drumming Up New Business thought she was a big enough celebrity to make producing the video worth their while. I’ll confess I don’t know much about her, so I look for her name in the Interwebs.

I’m surprised to find she is a film producer and rainforest activist, and before that, a Shakespearean actor. According to Wikipedia, Sting’s first wife was in the same acting company as her, and Sting began dating Trudie before divorcing wife #1. Scandale!

Trudie’s handsome trainer, a professional ballet dancer (ballerino?) appears in the 25-minute Cardio Flow workout alongside Trudie, and he’s solo in the Warmup and Myofascial Core Stretch segments. He wears an orange tank that’s striped like a crossing guard’s vest, accented by his perpetually bemused expression.

But oh, his voice! A resonant English baritone with just the right amount of vocal fry… as he rhythmically chants out the moves, I keep expecting him to declare that he is a Sweet Transvestite (hip, hip, hip, hip) from Transsexual Translyvania.

The signature move of the Cardio Dance Flow is the “prance.” While standing on both feet, you alternate rising up on the ball of each foot. With his posh pronunciation, its sounds like “prawns.” “And prawns, and prawns. And prawns and prawns and prawns.”

The workout is silly and fun and filmed on a patio overlooking the green fields of Narnia. The Myofascial Core Stretch turns out to be Mr. Prawns on a foam roller. I have a foam roller, so I attempted to follow along. I don’t recommend this segment for safety reasons. He just whips through the transitions and I had to keep pausing the DVD so I would have time to reposition the roller safely. Working with a foam roller is painful but good for you – like being a rainforest activist – but best done at your own pace.

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