READER MAIL

Twitter user @steveajohnson writes:

“But are these thrift store workouts giving you the toned, beach-body you’ve always wanted? Are you worried that you’re becoming TOO healthy?”

Thank you for being my very first reader to submit a question! No, as a Person of Pallor, I’m not someone who has ever enjoyed strutting her stuff in the bright sunlight. If I do go the beach, it’s after I’ve bathed in Coppertone SPF 50 for Sensitive Skin, and hidden my alabaster glory under a long sleeves and a Greta Garbo hat.

But I’ve been using myself as an exercise guinea pig for my readers’ comedic enjoyment for about six months now, and I will say I have seen results.

Prior to the start of my experiment, I was in the habit of going to the gym twice a week, sometimes three times. Occasionally, I’d go on a hike. When I quit the gym to begin working out at home, I found it so easy to just pop in a DVD and exercise, that I found myself doing four to five workouts a week. I think increasing the frequency and varying the type of exercise has made the difference.

I’ve always been a medium-to-smallish body type. But recently, a friend remarked that I look more “cut.” She usually sees me on TV Night when I’m wearing floppy clothes and stuffing cookies in my face, but I took the compliment anyway.

She might be on to something. I see the greatest change in the definition of my abs. My arms and legs look more dancer-y as well. It’s really too bad I can’t show them off at the beach without bursting into flames. I’ve noticed that my loosest pair of jeans is now definitely too big on me, which makes them perfect attire for Food Truck Night.

Which brings me to the most unexpected result. I’m hungry all the time now. It’s really annoying. In restaurants, I have to shut down the impulse to pick food off of strangers’ plates. I’ve had to start worrying about how much protein I eat, because active women need 50 grams of protein a day. That’s like, an entire chicken, right?